Friday, February 27, 2009

They never told me it could be this fun!

Ah, the life of a stay-at-home-mom.  It's so fulfilling.

If by "fulfilling" we mean "ensuring that I remain in a constant low-level state of irritability with occasional spikes of rage".

Look, I'm sure there's plenty of moms who genuinely love being at home all day with their children and are convinced it's the best thing for them.  That's not the case with me and my kids.  I'm not happy, they're not happy... it's just a mess.  Granted, a lot of it is because we can't afford to go out and do much (I don't even have money for public transportation right now), and a lot of it is frustration because I genuinely am trying to get stuff done at home that will bring in money, but they don't comprehend that (and I don't expect them to!).

I miss the days when I was working all day, then got to come home and see them.  They were overjoyed to see me, I genuinely was happy and relieved to see them, and we had weekends to hang out and generally enjoy our mutual company.  Now we're all in each other's faces all day, and... it wears on me more than them, but it does wear on them.  

Not that the SAHM doesn't provide its own interesting lessons.  Yesterday, I learned that Gmail caps their response threads at 100 messages, then splits it off.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Shiny!

Tax Return Season is upon us (well, me, at any rate), and I've cast my eyes on the various ways I'm going to spend mine, which is due in a couple weeks.

First priority is catching up on my bills. Easy enough!

Second priority: new camera. I'm getting a Canon EOS Rebel XS (I traded the extra two megapixels for being able to get a couple of accessories), a telephoto lens (I'm eyeing Craigslist for this item rather than buying new), a tripod, and a flash umbrella kit.

Third priority: mini-vacation up in the Tri-Cities area of Washington. I miss my Trav.

I should still have money left over for emergencies... I'm not going to get the telephoto lens if I can't find one used at a reasonable price. It's not as necessary for what I want to do (although I do have a major boner for macro photography... hello reverse-mount ring!), and ... well, honestly, if I can't get it used, I can use some of that money to drop into, I don't know, improving the lawn in my back yard. (Feel free to read that as "actually getting the lawn done in the back yard", since I don't actually HAVE a lawn yet. Just a giant mud puddle.)

Ah, photography. If it wasn't for that fabulous shoot I did with my sister -- which, by all rights, should have been a NIGHTMARE with no results -- I might have quietly let this hobby die with my poor FinePix. Instead, I've been hit by the multiple opportunities of a big enough return to afford the camera I've lusted after, a total lack of gainful employment that allows me to run around doing fun artistic things instead of monkeying about in an office, and a good supply of people willing to let me photograph them. Even better... photograph them for money.

Aye, that's the best part. If I'm not careful, I'll be at least semi-pro again in no time.

I'm thinking I'll get back in touch with a pro friend of mine when the camera arrives, and see if she's willing to swap tips or something. She's taking a break from work, so it's not like I'll be stealing jobs (besides, what she does and what I'm wanting to do are different enough to avoid overlap, unless we wanted to team up).

It may sound stupid, but I also want to do charity photography. You know, like those people who go in and do photography for terminal patients and stuff. I'd also like to do photo shoots for newborns of teen parents who might not otherwise be able to afford portrait photography. I mean, some of my greatest treasures are my photos of my kids. I'd like to help where I can, you know?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

... and life keeps movin' on.

The carpets have been cleaned, the laundry is ... well, at least over halfway done (this is an accomplishment, trust me), and the catboxes are no longer the dominant perfumes in their respective bathrooms.

The dishes need to be done, but that is thankfully not my department.

I'm oddly at peace right now. I haven't drawn sheeyite today (or even for the past couple of days), haven't written... I did manage to do a lot of tweaking on the new Peacock King site today, but even that was just... tweaks. I should be foaming at the mouth right now about paperwork I haven't finished, deadlines I'm in danger of missing, bills I have yet to pay... but I'm peaceful.

That's not to say I don't have those quiet little areas of discontent. I have a to-do list a mile long, for starters, and not enough resources to get the tasks done. (Yet.) I miss Jess like crazy -- he'd become such a fixture in my days that it's genuinely odd to not have my not-twin around. I need to figure out what to do about my accidental FWB -- I'm not so interested in the WB part, and I really don't have much experience with telling guys that I'm just not interested in them that way... and having to do this after a night of drunken shenanigans isn't going to help my case any.

I think I'll avoid the whole FWB idea from now on, holy shit. I have few enough friends that I really value the ones I have, and this seems like a really unworthy way to go about weeding out ones I would really rather keep around.

Somewhere in all that I have to do this week, I have to figure out how to very nicely ask someone who intimidates the shit out of me with her awesomeness if she would pretty please read The Peacock King and um maybe review it for us please? ... You know, just now I imagined Jess and Erica's faces right before my infamous date with my Uncleganger. The ones that preceded their twin smirks of "JesĂș Christo, what happened to your balls? Remember who you are or we're going to take away your title!" ... I'd better just write that email or risk giving up my Supreme Overlord business cards.

Good going, guys. That incident burned so hard in my brain that I'm using it against myself in completely unrelated situations!

So now that I've finished my tea and hitched up my big girl panties one more time, I'm going to... head to bed! I forgot to change my sheets, but darnit, I had a busy day. I'll pencil it in for tomorrow.